Lease poLice

wheeeeEEEEE EEEEeew, here comes the lease police.

In October 2014 back when I was driving a Chevy T Timebomb with over 200k miles of tear and adventure complete with the ricketing of what sounded like loosening screws and the screeching of the lasts of my brake shoes, I knew I was in for a new car.

I walked through a few nearby dealer lots to take a casual gander through some new lineups along with hunks of the old, while drawing up potential conversations with the inevitable salesbro whom I would be dealing with. “No,” I said to my mind while skimming at large tags full of facts and numbers; with hopes of remaining unnoticed. “I’m NOT interested in leasing THANK YOU.”


I’ll stealthily visited two dealerships in this manner until I stopped by a Toyota/Scion one evening where I toured the used section cloaked in my usual uninterested fashion. But after turning the corner towards the new Scion corner and looking at a new XB for a few seconds long enough to signal for assistance, I was approached by a smiling polo-clad fellow named Tom.

I said something along the lines of, “She’s a beauty.” He agreed and offered a test drive; and being that it was a Scion, which is like a baby sister to a real Toyota, the price was well under that of what I was expecting to see for a brand new whip.

The sun was beyond, long moments had passed and I was hoping to close the deal. Both of us knew I wanted the car and was looking forward to taking it home that night, but the question kept coming up from Tom. “Why, again, don’t you want to lease?”

“um…” I replied, but thought to myself that maybe I didn’t want to lease because I read or heard from various sources that it’s a bad financial move to lease a brand new car; but didn’t want to tell him that. “I feel … limited within the boundaries of a lease,” I finally said. “Do YOU lease your car?” I added.

“ME? No…” he answered. He looked at his computer screen, pressed a few keys, then scribbled something down on paper. “Don’t worry about mileage or anything, I’ll enter a generous limit. We’re here to help. This number here would be your monthly lease payment, after putting the down payment today as we discussed.”

Whoa. “That’s good. BETTER than I expected,” I said. Then finally; forget my premonitions: the deal was made and later that night I drove home my first leased car.

Fast forward to August 2016 when I get a call from Johnny from that same dealership. To make a long story short and slim down on all dialogues and prose, I get suckered into leasing again AGAINST my weak will a 2016 Rav4 one year and 2 months before my previous lease is finished; with no regard to what may happen to that lease contract.

Well, here I sit today with less than half a year on a leasing contract and I feel binded in a lose-lose deal, in which I walk through each scenario in my mind and all plays out the same. More debts, more regrets. Yes, the dealerships present leasers with their lease-end options; “It’s EASY, simply trade in your lease and lease a brand NEW lease against your will…with a small down payment of course. Or buy out your current lease for ONLY $20 thousand. It’s nothing, it’s pennies!”

I’m either going to return my car before the lease is up, which means I owe the rest of the amount due, or I will hold onto the lease and get my money’s worth. Though if I go with the latter than I am sure to rack up mileage penalties. So, ah…

…..wheeeeeEEEEE EEEEEeeew…. Officer Upsell here, you have the right to remain broke. If you choose to forego your savings and opt with a lease.

Thank you for reading my first blog post. I am hoping to get better at this.

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