Podcast Episode 001 – VP

…transcript…

World Brian Podcast

Hello world. Thanks for checking out my first podcast, but to be honest, this is my fourth time trying this. One time last year I started recording one but didn’t even make it through the full session. Then earlier this year, before 2020 turned out to be this dreaded horrific event in its own, like January or February, I tried again and recorded and published 2 full 10 to 15 minute episodes. And though they were pretty awful, I was happy with how they came out, and was looking forward to keeping at it. But I stopped, shit got crazy in this world and I opted to just putz around the house and eat cookies, watch Vikings, and master the kraft of grilled cheese sandwich making. Yea, and I spent all my nights washing a ton of dishes.

So I ought to warn you now; this is going to be a disaster. But not on the level of post-Hurricane Isais week-long power outage with nowhere to store your milk kinda disaster, but more along the lines of the hurricane itself, where it rained for a couple minutes and your garbage can tipped over…more just a minor mess. But either way…enjoy!

(synth transition)

Joe Biden picked his running mate to be Kamala Harris, and it’s funny to me that this happens just a few days after legendary wrestler Kamala died. I wonder if Biden follows the same wrestling accounts I do, and he was looking at his phone one day and one of his staffers knocked on his door and said, “Hey Joe, you’re gonna have to pick that VP already” And Joe was like, “Kamala died…hey wait, I know a Kamala!” I’m not even sure I’m pronouncing these right, only time will tell.

It seems to be a good pick, but what do I know? For people who live outside of California, the only impression we got of her was from the presidential debates, which to me is useless because there were like 15 people on stage, and the whole show was more like a montage of a hundred 15 second mini political ads than anything resemblant to a debate. And when it came time to attack or counter or actually debate, it was just a matter of saying they’re ad louder this time around! And as you watch,  you start to see that overall they were all democrat hopefuls agreeing with each other the whole time!

I’m looking forward to seeing the idealized world that Biden’s going to draw up for us, especially those of us who happen to be on the younger side of life. Money falling from the skies, no cops, no tuition, all that good stuff. But more-so, I’m looking forward to the conservatives angry counter to these claims…based on what a Great America should be! things are going to get good, I say!

I enjoyed spending a couple minutes reading comments about this vice presidential pick, because people are so passionate and extreme it’s entertaining. One guy was so heated he had to say, “THERE GOES THE COUNTRY!” I could do a whole show on the toxicity of how we communicate to each other on social media, but for now I’m just going to say that I found this guy’s drama pretty comical. Why stop there, at country…when the whole world is at stake…maybe even the galaxy!

(synth)

Trump and Biden are so old that their first debate is going to be at Golden Corral. At 4pm. It wouldn’t make for good tv, because you can’t stay mad or argumentative at someone when you’re at the same buffet. Maybe later, when they both get sick for eating too many all you can eat prime ribs, and they’re sharing a pack of Tums….even then, you can’t share your Tums, and not have that feeling of sympathy, like …”…here, I feel ya brother…”

We’ve never seen Donald Trump eat, except that picture of him on the plane with BUCKETS of KFC. But I just imagine that he eats steak and potatoes at least twice a day. And his steak is cooked well done and the less flavor: the better. He probably fired cooks who tried to season his steak, or at least fired an intern or two who offered him A1 steak sauce.

I don’t honestly think there’s anyone who is waiting for the debates between these two guys, to help determine who they’re going to vote for in just a few months. “Hmmm Donald Trump or Joe Biden…I really should tune in and get to know the candidates.” Trump is going to likely tear up Biden in the debates, but I could see Biden having some real savage moments where he shows his teeth and really drops some realness that shakes Trump up a bit. Everyone at home is gonna be like, “daaaaamn, he went there!” But it’s just going to be that one moment, and Trump’s going to have a counter ready, because his whole life seems to be about having an excuse or counter ready.

But then the over-analysis is going to kill the moments, and it’s going to be on the news non-stop until the next debate; to the point where we’re all going to wonder what happened to Caronavirus?

(synth)

Then after we elect either/or, Coronavirus will be gone then we may ask what happened to it again? Or we may forget…but before we do, Dr Fauci or someone will remind us that it’s back…just so we don’t dig too deep.

Overall, I’m looking forward to the next couple of months, it’s going to be action packed, its going to be like Expendables 5 or so.

And while were heading that way, I hope to keep this podcast going. I’ll see you next time!

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