episode 002 transcript of my podcast
Hi, I’m Johnny Cash (guitar rifffage) and if you could master any skill overnight, to be used towards a career, what would that be? Mine would be something food related, like chopping onions (chopping sound), just because this is going to be a food episode. If you’re not hungry now, then you will be in 6 minutes.
I cooked fish for dinner and now my house smells like burnt teriyaki. Which is good, because like they always say, “burnt fish is better than fish not yet fully cooked!” I’m sure somebody said it, at one point in time. If not, then I’ll claim it in the books. Actually, the fish itself, atlantic salmon to be precise, was baked to a perfect 145 degrees Fahrenheit, but I was out of aluminum foil so I sprayed the pan directly, laid down a few lemon peels for the filets to sit on, then scooped some sauce I made out of easy to find ingredients…except garlic, it took me forever to find that last dang clove. So as I scooped the sauce onto the filets, most of it dripped down to the pan. Then about 20 minutes later I ended up with 2 fantastic fish filets surrounded by thin flaky burnt teriyaki cookies, where the sauce dripped onto the pan. The pan was so gnarly afterwards that it reminded me…
…About 10 years ago I once had a dirty oven and I saw a commercial where they showed this lady who had shit all up inside her oven. And she sprayed this foamy stuff out of a spray can, while showing the label to the viewing audience. It was called Easy Off… and viola in seconds she wiped all that grease off. That was probably the fastest I was ever sold by TV advertising. Domino’s Pizza is a close second.
I like to cook, but I’m more of a lunch guy. A sandwich guy. I remember a time in my lazier days when I thought making a sandwich was too much work. Ooooh, I gotta take all this stuff out of the fridge. The Meats, the cheeses, the mayo, breads. Pickles, sides…Snacks. A beverage. But before you do all that you gotta make room on the counter and then get a plate. And THEN get a spoon or a knife for spreading and put that all together. (deep breath of hard work). Thinking back to those days where I was overwhelmed by such tasks, I probably would have benefited with some kind of help or guidance in life. Look at me now! Loving sandwiches, telling the public about how I overcame such obstacles. I guess I figured it all out on my own.
I like cooking dinners also. Heck, I’ve cooked dinner almost every day for the past 150 days or so, minus those few times we ordered Chillis or pizza or … anywhere for that matter. In fact, I’m gonna talk about my top ten dishes that I like to cook:
Number ten. Hamsteak. With a pasta side. Now these come fully cooked so you can’t F this up, you could find these next to the kielbasa and kraut in the meats section. Time and temperature is not of significance since it’s just a matter of getting it hot and letting the ingredients, which I’m about to tell you soak into that savory slab of ham. Amounts of each also are not of important detail, you just pour into your heart says stop, then you blend with a spoon. Some of the ingredients go on the pan and some you pour onto the meat. I think I do this differently every time. What you’re going to need is yellow mustard, honey, brown sugar and little chunks of pineapple. If your feeling fancy, then you could get pineapple slices. There also might be a spice in there also, your call.
Number nine. Stir Fry. I’ve messed this up badly before because I wasn’t paying full attention to my noodles, so when I make it and it turns out good, then I feel a nice bite of great success. You buy a bag of frozen stir fry veggies, boneless chicken…cut into little nuggets and grilled, stir fry noodles in the Asian food section and you’re lucky you could buy some that come with sauce and instructions. Those directions may also say to add other sauce, like sesame oil or teriyaki sauce, so do what that says, not what you heard ME say.
Number eight is…there is no number eight. Not now at least. I can’t lie, I started writing this two days ago, and at this point in the script I’m deciding to cut my list down to top 2. But I don’t think I would put ham steak in my top 2, so I would leave these two at numbers 10 and 9. Then the teriyaki salmon that I started talking about in the beginning would probably be number 3 or 4. Maybe I could finish this list on a future episode or two…sometime I could do meals number 8 – 5. Then again I could do top 3. You could help me decide by leaving a comment.
That’s right, I’m not at the point of freely talking smoothly without a script. I could hardly speak coherently while reading one. So for now the way this is going down is I take a little bit of time and write ideas down, then the ideas flesh out into a script. I rehearse the script, kind of…Then I hit record, while also turning on my synth or grabbing my guitar and give it a go. This process makes me wonder if some of the big podcasters have scripts or if they have podcasts because they are so blessed with having things to say that they use this platform to share this gift with the world. I’m hoping to work my way up to that point.
Thanks for your support. So long